DIY Iced Coffee

I am very fortunate.  I have a husband that caters to (nearly) every whim that I have (especially if he's to get something from it.)  He indulged me with half a pound of mocha flavored coffee from "in-town" and I was set to use it to make PW's iced coffee recipe.  When I got home to re-read the recipe, I realized that I did not have the containers large enough to make her intended recipe.  So we cut the recipe in half, and I saved the mocha coffee to make for next time (in case it turned out junky.)  Had to just try it out with our plain old DD coffee.  I am very fortunate to have a box of that in our spare bedroom.  Call it my baby.

Original recipe is found here.

Here we go:

1/2 pound good coffee (you could probably make this with Folger's...if you have no taste buds.  Not judging...it's hot and I'm cranky, is all.)
4 quarts cold water
Large enough container with lid to hold 4 qts water and coffee grounds (I used my dutch oven)
Fine mesh strainer
Cheesecloth
Something to store the coffee in that will fit in your fridge(with a spout or a big old juice container)

Dump the 1/2 pound ground coffee into your large container.  Add the cold water and stir to make sure all the grounds are wet.  Let sit at room temperature overnight (12-24 hours...mine went for like 28.)
Strain the grounds and coffee over the cheesecloth lined strainer into the fridge container.  Press on the grounds lightly to make sure you get all the coffee.
Chill in the fridge and serve how you like!

C'mon over!  It's freakin hot today and I have half and half!

 My BEAUTIFUL coffee dispenser is courtesy of my BEAUTIFUL friend Melissa.  It was given to me, along with matching glasses, as a bridal shower gift.  Ten months later, I'm finding a fabulous use for it!  The container and glasses are hand-painted.  I told you I was fortunate!

If You're Happy and You Know It, Eat Some Carbs

Summer suppers at our house are usually some sort of grilled protein and a salad.  It's too hot to consider much else (and cooking roles reverse, with Andrew on the grill and me on chop chop duty.) 

But yesterday was all rainy and junky, so chili and biscuits were on order.  My great uncle Jon's chili recipe nearly serves all of Clifton...I improvised it down to half that and still had a large dutch oven full.

Because the biscuits were a spur of the moment idea, I needed to find a non-buttermilk recipe.  If you don't have buttermilk, you can add 1 tablespoon of vinegar to 1 c of milk, but the recipe I found needed 1 1/4 c buttermilk (and my brain doesn't work well with maths.) 

Thank goodness for the bridal edition of the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.  They have a non-buttermilk recipe (plus a drop biscuit and buttermilk biscuit variety).  All ingredients were on hand, so it was on!

Biscuits:

3 c. flour
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. cream of tartar
1 stick butter, cold, cut into pieces
1/4 c. shortening
1 c. milk

Preheat oven to 450.  Mix the dry ingredients together.  Cut in the butter and shortening until it resembles coarse crumbs.  Form a well in center of mix and pour in milk.  Stir with a fork until just combined.  Turn out dough onto lightly floured surface and knead dough by folding and gently pressing until dough holds together.  Pat or roll out to 3/4 inch thickness.  Cut dough with biscuit cutter and re-roll and cut scraps.  Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet 10-14 minutes or until golden. 

Golden.  And delicious.  I'm surprised we have any left!

Serve warm.  Like I needed to tell you that.  Make these.  Put Pillsbury out of business.  They were foolishly easy.  I'm pretty sure Shakespeare said "a warm biscuit doth a happy husband make."

Freddy Kruger Russian Roulette Sugar Free Blueberry Pie

Sure, it's a long-ass name for a pie.  But.  Worth it.
I mean, probably.
Technically, we are not feasting on this pie.  If we were, I would so go at it The Walking Dead style, but I've committed to two pies for the Comins Hall supper that's happening tomorrow, and doubly committed to two sugar-free pies.  My thoughts on sugar-free items are these:  if you have THE BEDES (lovingly referred to as such in my family, where one out of every one person has it), maybe pie just shouldn't be in the cards for you.  But, hey, I have food issues meself, so I know how hard it can be to JUST SAY NO (there is no DARE program for carbs.  I asked my old DARE officer.)
My hope is that these pies turn out tasty, and no one gets diarrhea (always a spell-checked word for me) because it's not made with real sugar.  This recipe was my inspiration.  I hope it looks just like that when they cut into it (hence the Russian Roulette) and my un-festive steam cuts into the top of the pie garnered the teen-killer moniker.  Here we go:

For the filling:

3 cups blueberries (I used frozen)
1/2 cup sugar-free maple syrup
4 cups blueberries (frozen again)
1/2 cup sugar-free maple syrup
4 Tbsp quick cooking tapioca (have fun finding a use for the rest of the box you have to buy to get your measly 1/4 c....)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt

1 recipe double crust pie dough (I use this recipe)

Simmer the 3 cups of blueberries and 1/2 cup syrup until it reduces by half (about 20 minutes.)  Add this, along with the 4 cups of blueberries and the rest of the ingredients to a large bowl and combine.  Allow to cool completely.

Make the dough.  Or use store bought.  Or take some dough that you made last time from the freezer and allow it to thaw.  Dough up your pie plate and add your filling.  Top it off and put it in the fridge for 30 minutes.  Meanwhile, pre-heat your oven to 450 and put a foil-lined cookie sheet on the bottom rack of the oven.  Now, the actual recipe dictates that after the 30 minutes of fridge chill, turn your oven to 400 and bake for 30 minutes, then brush with cream and sprinkle with sugar and allow to cook for another 30 minutes.  Here's how my recipe goes:  Preheat your oven to 450.  After 20 minutes, remember that you have to put the cookie sheet in the oven, too.  Open the oven, keep it open too long adjusting the racks for the cookie sheet, then set off the smoke detector, which probably won't wake up the husband who just came home from night shift at all.  Throw the smoke detector onto the back porch, then gingerly set the pie into the oven.  Forget to turn the oven down to 400 degrees until it's been cooking for 20 minutes.  Then, turn the oven down, and don't bother with the sprinkling of sugar or brushing of cream.  Finish reading Jen Lancster's new book while your blueberry pie browns nakedly in the oven.  With 20 minutes left, take pity on the pie and throw a double thickness of foil lazily over the top to prevent more browning.  Take out and cool completely before serving.

Good thing is, you can still take pictures of it while it's warm.

The only nightmare on Elm St. would be if you ate two pieces of this, you may get the runs...

If you don't have to go sugar-free because of THE BEDES, you can use regular maple syrup.  Shoot up with your favorite flavor of insulin and dig in!

Gram's Lasagna

My grandmother's lasagna has a hundred variations.  Just within our family.  My uncle Steve will swear (literally) up and down that she used ricotta (she didn't.)  Some family members boil the noodles first; others just rely on no-boil noodles (I am an Other.)  Sometimes there are pepperoni guest stars; oftentimes, it's just good ol' hamburg.  It's always a memory of her, if not quite exactly how she made it.  She'd just be glad she didn't have to make it. 

Because we are getting together today to celebrate all the mothers in our family (here, there, past, and future) and I am designated to make one of the lasagnas that will be gracing the table today, I am going to share our recipe.  Some of you non-family have had it.  It's the only lasagna I will ever have fond feelings for.  All other lasagna is not my gram's lasagna. 

Everything this recipe is eyeballed.  I'm using a Pampered Chef stoneware lasagna pan, so I will do my best to fill it up.  A Pyrex 9x13 can be used, too, but it might not take as much for ingredients.

Here we go:

Gram's Lasagna
2-3 lbs hamburger
2-3 bricks of cream cheese (I usually use the Neufchatel Cheese, because no one is going to notice)
1-2 packages noodles (no boil, or boil-first...cook's choice)
2-4 jars sauce (I always use Newman's Own...but the flavor is always a roulette...today I'm using his Marinara, but Sockarooni is always a delicious fallback.  I ended up using about 2 1/2 for this lasagna )
Pepperoni
4 c. mozarella
Shredded parm for the top (optional...I thought I had some in the fridge, but we used it all up...all I had was Shaky Green.  This is not acceptable Parm for lasagna.)

Heat oven to 375.  Decide on the amount of hamburger you think you'll need (I know, how can you know?  I picked a little over 2 lbs.  Cross your fingers) and brown in a large skillet, adding seasonings (salt, pepper, garlic powder, etc, as you'd like.)  Depending on the fat content of your hamburger, you may need to drain off the fat.  Do that.  Then add your bricks of cream cheese (our default ratio is 1 brick per 1 lb of hamburger...I used two.  Delicious!) and stir until the cream cheese is melted.  Now it's time for assembly.

If you're using a glass pan, you may want to spray it beforehand with non-stick.  I used the stoneware pan, so I was spray-free.

1. Put down some sauce
2. Layer of noodles (I used the Barilla brand no-boil, 3 pieces per layer)
3. Sauce (no-boil noodles need lots of sauce.  Lots.  If it seems like too much, it's the right amount.)
4.  Mozarella and Pepperoni
5.  Noodles
6.  Sauce
7.  All the hamburger.  Yes, a 2 lb layer of hamburger cream cheese divinity.  I did try dividing it in half, but it looked sparse.  And we are not a sparse people.
8.  Noodles
9.  Sauce
10.  Mozarella and Pepperoni
11.  Noodles
12.  Sauce
13.  Mozarella

Then, get a sheet of tin foil and spray one side with non-stick spray.  Cover the lasagna (spray side down) and cook for 50 minutes covered, then remove the foil and cook for another 10 minutes or so, until the cheese starts to brown.

I know, it doesn't look any different than anyone else's lasagna...but I can't very well cut into it to show you the center, because uncle Steve would beat me with my own arms if the lasagna arrived at his house misshapen in any way.  So this is an invitation for you to just make this yourself.  Embrace the cream cheese.  Embrace the fact that it's better two, three, four days after it's made.  Use it to trap a non-committal boyfriend (I used cookies, but that was the first date...I was Girl Scout Prepared for that meeting.)  Use it to create warmth with a neighbor.  A new mother.  A slew of hungry siblings. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Let My Supper Go

'Round about Wednesday I get sick to death of making dinner.  Hows about you?  You get out of work late, traffic is trafficky, you live way out in the willywacks, et cetera, et cetera.  Pizza and chinese food always sound better than having to think of what to do with a pound of hamburger (or hamburg, if you live out in these parts.)

Then you remember that the man of Shannon's dreams (presumably) has given you a bottle of his homemade maple syrup.  And while you yourself cannot identify a maple tree, you can identify a Canadian, and Mrs. Butterworth, and you know that pancakes will become dinner tonight, if only to try Moses' maple syrup.

(Can you tell yet that I'm writing this post on a post-syrup syrup high?  Cause I totally AM!)

What is doubly awesome is that the recipe I'm going to share is not for Moses' homemade maple syrup, cause I'm pretty sure you just tap a few maples and boil that crap down, and that's pretty easy.  But so is this recipe.  It's PW's recipe for Edna Mae's Sour Cream Pancakes.

I know.  Brake squeal.  Sour cream?  But guys, it's good.  They're light, and sorta like a moist/creamy type deal.  Andrew commented on how moist they were (the more I write moist, the more I hate the word), and it wasn't until he had eaten every last bite (asparagus-free, mind you) that I told him there was 7 Tablespoons of flour in the entire recipe, and it was primarily sour cream.

So pretend it's low-carb as you're suffocating them to death with Hannaford brand butter flavored maple syrup product, or some of Moses' syrup, if you know him well enough, bub.

PW's original recipe is here, or on page 76 of her first cookbook.

Here we go:

1 cup Sour Cream
7 Tablespoons All-purpose Flour
2 Tablespoons Sugar
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 teaspoon Salt
2 whole Large Eggs
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
Butter, For Frying And Serving (baby steps!  I only ate mine with 10 gallons of syrup!)
Warm Syrup, For Serving (Ain't nobody got time for that!  Is this phrased overused?  I was just starting to get into it...)

Put your sour cream into a medium sized bowl.  Add the dry ingredients and stir until barely combined.  Whisk up the eggs and vanilla in a separate lil bowl and add to the sour cream mix, and stir until just combined.  Be gentle.  Heat up a skillet (I used my cast-iron) to medium low heat, add butter, and fry up pancakes in 1/4 c servings.  Flip after 2 minutes or so, when they look set and they're starting to give you bubbles at the surface.  Cook for another couple minutes.  Repeat with remaining batter.

That was the entire recipe (minus one still in the pan)

Serve with whatever you eat on your pancakes.  I had intended to make blueberry pancakes, but was at Motivation Level Zero to stop at a real grocery store (I hit the Tradewinds in the village for sour cream.  Alas, no blueberries there.)  I was tempted to put in some sausage crumbles I had at the house.  When I mentioned this after the fact to Andrew, he gave the half shrug of, "yeah, I'd eat that."  Yeah, and ya'd eat asparagus, too, ya numbah.

Husband portion.  Minus two.  I also got the one in the pan.  Score!

Con-Artist Cooking

We had asparagus on Easter.  I'm copacetic to asparagus.  Sure, the next day I nearly have a heart attack when I go to the bathroom and I'm quite sure I'm dying (what is in asparagus that gives your wee the death factor??), and sure, it's not a starchy vegetable, so it's like a red-headed step-child to me, but I wouldn't pass it by on a buffet line.
But Andrew would.
He did take a no-thank-you bite of it on Resurrection Sunday (which is more than he did when I made split-pea soup that week with the hambone...), but he didn't go back for any thank-you bites.
So tonight I did what any good wife (or mother of a toddler) would do...I hid the asparagus.  Casserole-style.
And he gobbled it up.
Because his eyes don't know what his belly like.
His belly like asparagus.
I hid it in this easy, nothing-really-homemade-about-it casserole.

Here we go:

3 chicken breasts, cut up into small chunks
Olive oil
1 red pepper, diced
1 lb asparagus (how you gonna hide 1 pound of asparagus from someone?  Cut it in half and let them assume it's green beans.  Suckahs!)
1 box Cavatappi (fantastic note:  when I tried to spell-check Cavatappi, the alternative word was "catnapping.")  Penne or any other shapey pasta could work, too.
2 containers of Philadelphia Cooking Creme (I used the Italian Cheese and Herb)
Italian blend cheese (handful...that's what I had left in our cheese drawer)

Heat large non-stick skillet to medium heat.  Add a swirl or two of olive oil.  Add chicken chunks and brown.  When the chicken is almost done, add the diced red pepper and asparagus (I cut off the ends of the asparagus, but you can just hold the tip end and break off the end-end and it will naturally break off the tough part.  That is the worst explanation of how to trim asparagus ever.  Look it up online...I'm sure it's more coherent.)  Cook until the veggies are a little soft...you still want some crisp to them, but not a raw-veggie taste.  Add one container of cooking creme and stir to combine.
While the chicken is cooking, cook your pasta according to the package directions.  Drain and return to your cooking pot.  Add the chicken mixture to the pasta, along with the other container of cooking creme, and stir to combine.  Pour into a 9x13 pan, cover with a handful of the Italian blend cheese, and broil (I set my broiler to low and put my oven rack on the 2nd to last spot) until the cheese is brown in spots and it starts to look like Pizza Hut takeout.

He was picking asparagus from the dish to eat on purpose!

Serve with Hannaford's finest garlic bread.  Don't serve with the leftover salad your asparagus-loving husband has claimed for his lunch the next day.

Try sneaking in veggies that your family doesn't typically eat.  Cut up small enough, doused in sauce and cheese, and tucked behind some twirly pasta, they won't even notice.  It's con-artist cooking at its finest!

I Like Big Puffs and I Cannot Lie

Breakfast during the week at our house is usually some toast or a bagel thin (that's my pre-workout breakfast...to be followed by a second breakfast at work.)  Weekend breakfasts aren't usually any more involved...maybe eggs...or maybe I pout and Andrew takes me to breakfast.
But I was feeling cookery this morning, and I whipped up the PW's French Breakfast Puffs.
Ermergerd.
They are a delicious, butter dipped, cinnamon sugar coated cross between muffin and doughnut.  They're about a difficult to make as chocolate chip cookies, meaning, anyone can do this.  It gets a little messy at the end, when they get their butter and cinnamon sugar bath, but it's totally worth it.
PW's original recipe can be found here or on page 66 of her first cookbook.  Her recipe is below, with my remarks in italics.

Here we go!

3 cups Flour
3 teaspoons Baking Powder
1 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Ground Nutmeg (I went heavy-handed with the nutmeg, cause I like 'em spicy...so maybe 3/4 tsp??)
1 cup Sugar
2/3 cups Shortening
2 whole Eggs
1 cup Milk
1-1/2 cup Sugar
3 teaspoons Cinnamon
2 sticks Butter (the panicked look on Andrew's face when I told him the recipe called for 2 sticks of butter...you should have seen it!  I was able to use about a stick, plus two or so tablespoons.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease 12 muffin cups. (I sprayed em down with non-stick spray.)
In a large bowl stir together flour, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg. Set aside.
In a different bowl, cream together 1 cup sugar and shortening. Then add eggs and mix again. Add flour mixture and milk alternately to creamed mixture, beating well after each addition. (I used my Kitchen Aid...just like making cookies, I tell ya!)
Fill prepared muffin cups 2/3 full. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until golden. (Mine took closer to 30 minutes...just watch em.)

Naked Puffs

In a bowl, melt 2 sticks butter. In a separate bowl combine remaining sugar and cinnamon. Dip baked muffins in butter, coating thoroughly, then coat with cinnamon-sugar mixture.

I didn't eat three, I swear!  I just thought to take the picture while my hands were clean, melting more butter...

 Serve warm.  Entice your mother to come down for puffs, instead of driving all the way into town to the Bagel Shop. 

The humanity!

You can freeze any remaining puffs.  Then your husband won't have any food guilt.