Lazy Apple Pie

Very lazy.
I'm all for homemade crust.  I just don't homemake it.  I'll eat it every day of the week.  Mine just don't turn out that great.  Not any better than Mrs. Hannaford's in the butter aisle do.  So that's who I turn to when I'm feeling pie-ish.

If you make Apple Crumb Pie, you get two pies from one box of pie crust.  Double crust pie is overrated.
The theme is lazy, follow along.

Lazy Apple Crumb Pie
1 box of already made pie crust (don't tell the person in your family who would judge you for this.  I have someone in mind in my family, but I will not name names.)
6 cups apples (12 cups if you're making two pies)
3/4 c white sugar (1 1/2 c for two pies)
1/4 c flour (1/2 c for two pies)
Cinnamon (no measurement...I just shook in some)
Nutmeg (same deal)
3 Tbsp butter (6 for two pies)
1/2 c flour (1 c for two pies)
1/2 c packed brown sugar (1 c packed for two pies)

Oven at 375.  Put your piecrust into your pie plate.  I didn't flute the edges or anything.  I'm breaking all the pie rules.  I just made it rustic looking.  No one is going to turn down lazy pie because there aren't fork marks on your crust.  Trust me.
Divide and conquer your apples.  I have an apple-corer-peeler-slicer.  It's a huge pain in the REAR to deal with.  I have an apple wedger (that removes the core, you know?) and that is so much easier to deal with.  So, wedge your apples, then peel the wedges with a lil paring knife.  This will help you practice your paring skills.  Cut the wedges into two or three slices and chuck in a bowl (big enough to stir in the sugary floury spice mix.)
Make the sugary floury spice mix:  mix the white sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg.  Add to the apple bowl and mix up.
Dump into your pie crust.
Make the Crumb Topping:  Melt the butter (sure, you could cut in the cold butter chunks, like the recipe I took this from called for.  But why?  If you melt the butter and mix it into the flour sugar mix, you'll still get chunks and it's way less hard.) and add to the flour and brown sugar.  I also added some cinnamon and nutmeg to this, too.  Mix with your hands (or a fork if you're a germaphobe (or geographer if you spell check germaphobe)) and crumble over your pie.
Bake for 1 hr.  The original recipe has you covering your crust for 40 mins of that hour to prevent too much browning.  Bah.  Look at my picture:

Pie.  I only survived high school math because they talked about you.

Not too brown.  Not too brown for me, anyway.  Cover with foil if you must.
Eat for first breakfast.  Pretend it's oatmeal.

Crockpot Strikes Back

I tried to make this recipe last week, but my crockpot got the jitters and wouldn't perform.  I made it yesterday, when I knew I'd be home to make sure the lil bugger would turn on.  And it did.

The problem with "Zesty Italian Crockpot Chicken" is that it's not really zesty.  It's not bad tasting, by any means.  Andrew loved the sauce.  Maybe add two packets of zesty seasoning?  Maybe just call it Chicken Stroganoff (minus the mushrooms.)  It's tasty enough to make, and easy for a day when you're just going to watch "The Walking Dead" all day and knit your lil heart out.

Zesty Italian Crockpot Chicken (taken from Pinterest)

4 chicken breasts
1 8oz pkg cream cheese (I used reduced fat)
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 pkg Zesty Italian dressing seasoning (this is in the dressing aisle, near the croutons.  Don't get distracted by the croutons.)

The original Pinterest recipe may have had some directions like "soften and cube the cream cheese and whisk the sauce together."  But I'm lazy, so I just chucked it all in the crockpot.  I started it on high for 1 hour, then turned down to low for another 6 hours. I gave it a stir a couple times while it was cooking.  I think it was done before that.  We just weren't ready to eat. 

What looks like macaroni and cheese but doesn't taste like macaroni and cheese?

I made egg noodles (and some gemelli noodles.  Mixed em up.  Oooh weee we're wild in Clifton!) and peas.  I needed the peas for color.  This meal is a dreadful 70's cookbook photo color.  Post-shot, I hit it with some fresh ground pepper.  

The chicken tastes rotisserie-style and it makes a lot.  Try it, but don't expect the zest.  It's not coming to your party.

Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken

Easy recipe. All ingredients you probably have on hand (if you don't, get them so you'll have them on hand to make an easy, smoke detecting recipe.) Fantastic if you want to have anxiety the whole time you're making dinner because you're cooking it at the same temperature that you self-clean your oven.

See the original recipe here, then follow the yellow brick road:

Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken

3 tsp olive oil
4 garlic cloves, minced
4 Tbsp brown sugar
4 chicken breasts (I used 3, minx that I am)

Preheat the oven to 500 (and pray.  And make sure the lasagna that bubbled over that time you had Amber and Nicole over is not going to require the Eddington Volunteer Fire Department to make a house call.)  Spray a 9x13 pan with non-stick spray (but it won't help.  You'll still be soaking that stupid pan until the weekend.)  Chuck the breasts into the pan and salt and pepper them. 
Then, take a little saute pan and put the oil in.  Add the garlic and cook until it starts to brown (shouldn't take very long.)  Add the brown sugar.  It sort of looks like a face scrub at this point.  If you think your Edward or Bella or any of those other Twibots, you could use this garlic brown sugar scrub to get the sparkles out.  Otherwise, try to evenly distribute the mix on your chicken.  Maybe wait for it to cool down.  Unless you have asbestos hands.  Then go ahead and get your rub on.
Meat thermometer was so key for me for this recipe.  Jab it into the biggest part of the breast and set (I went 180 degrees) and put in the fiery furnace.  Mine took approx. 20 minutes. 
Let your breasts rest.  That's just an applicable lesson in all parts of life.  But the juices will redistribute (or it'll just be cool enough to eat.  We've gone over this...)
There were blackened bits of the sauce around the edges of the pan.  But we were able to spoon up some more of the glaze onto the chicken.  Observe:

Dang cell phone takes just as good pictures as my camera.  Cause both are chuddy.

Brown rice and broccoli.  It was all very stir-fry-esque.  I pondered making a stir fry and just using a crap-ton of this glaze as the sauce.  Andrew heartily agreed.  Heartily.  (He didn't heartily agree, but he did say he admired how I came home every night and cooked dinner without thinking twice about it and without complaining and he doesn't take it for granted and he knows he couldn't do it.  That came from another Pin.)

Try cooking this Igniter Chicken (apparently that word is not recognized.  Whatevs) and tell me what you think!

Apple Stuffed Pork Roast

I love Pinterest.  If I could make money by Pinning all day, I absolutely would.  If I'm home and on the computer, Andrew will ask me if I'm on Pinterest (just like when he's home and on the computer, I ask him if he's on eBay.  Really, eBay is Pinterest for boys.) 

All of my new recipes this week have been Pinterest-inspired.  This one was no different.  Andrew is off doing Club business at the Stetson camp, so I had my folks over to enjoy Apple Stuffed Pork Roast .  It was easy and delicious.  And it could also be done in a crockpot, as was done in the original recipe here (I don't participate in Crossfit, and the only thing I know about Paleo is that I think he was Galileo's cousin??)  Here's what I did:

Apple Stuffed Pork Roast
2 lb pork roast
2 onions, cut into quarters
2 apples, cut into slices
5 medium carrots, washed and cut in half
Honey
Salt & Pepper
Rosemary

Preheat oven to 375.  I have one of those fancy Pampered Chef covered bakers.  You could use a Dutch oven.  You could use a 9x13 baking dish.  Whatever you're gonna cook this bad boy in, layer the bottom with the onion and carrots.  If you want more veggies or apple slices, throw them in now. 
Then, lay the pork roast on top of those.  Make slits (I did three) into the pork roast to put apple slices in (that original recipe site gives good pictures if you have questions.)  Put apple slices into the slits and around the pork.  Salt and pepper the top of the pork.  Drizzle the whole thing with honey.  Sprinkle rosemary on top. 
Bake until meat thermometer registers 165 (mine took 1h15mins.)  Take out of oven and let it rest 10 mins or so to let the juices redistribute (or just to let it cool down.  That's why I let it rest.)

This was before two Fords and a newly-minted Stearns attacked.

We had mashed potatoes and my homemade applesauce.  It was fantastic.  We had good family talk about how I thought my grandmother invented recipes that she certainly did not, and how my dad's father had to eat peanut butter and mustard sandwiches.  It's all about food in my family.  Wait until it gets to be Thanksgiving...you'll be virtually full thanks to me!

Thighmaster

Ok, I'm not completely sold on boneless, skinless chicken thighs.  I love that they're pre-portioned (4 ounces is a perfect size for my belly.  Maybe it's a perfect size for everyone's belly?  I didn't much listen at the nutritionist office.)  But they aren't as firm as chicken breast when they're cooked, and that gives me the undercooked meat skeeves.  But my meat thermometer (BRIDAL SHOWER PRESENT) told me otherwise, and we ate what was quite a tasty meal.  (Even if the bird could have easily done 15 more squats.  Seriously.  Even I banged out all the squats today at the gym.)

See the original recipe here, and then actually cook my recipe here!

Maine Maple-Mustard Chicken Thighs
8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (or use chicken breasts...I bet it would work the same.  But don't use 8 unless you're cooking for a wicked big crowd.)
1/2 c. coarse grain mustard
1/4 c. Maine maple syrup
1 Tbsp. white vinegar

Preheat the oven to 450 and line a 9x13 cake pan with foil.  Mix the mustard, syrup and vinegar together.  Put the chicken thighs (jiggly lil buggers) into the foiled pan and give them some salt and pepper.  Pour the sauce over the chicken and turn to coat.  Bake 30-40 minutes or until your sweet meat thermometer reads 165. 

Look at my portions!  I totally went good veggie heavy, and it wasn't just for the camera!

We had this with mashed potato (skin on...I'm lazy and/or there are nutrients in the skin.  You decide.)  And we had broccoli (of the frozen bagged variety.  I'm no Wonder Woman.)  

I would try this again...maybe with a different mustard and on a whole chicken, just to shake things up.  (And by shake things up, I mean I'd root around in the fridge and try to find another half-used jar of mustard like I did tonight.)

Bon appetit!

Your Other Go-To Dip

So maybe your best friend posts on Facebook that she's going to make Buffalo Chicken Dip for her Halloween party.  And maybe prior to reading that post, you were going to make that dip for her Halloween party.  You find yourself stumped as to what to bring that's quick and easy to make (because those fishnet stockings aren't going to put themselves onto your short, stumpy legs.)  So you do a little research on Ro-Tel Dip, and then you make this:

Angie's Random Spicy Beef and Cheese Dip
1 lb ground beef (I used 90%)
32 oz brick of Velveeta (I used Hannaford brand and had intended to buy the smaller brick, but apparently everyone that shops at the Brewer Hannaford was also having revelations pertaining to processed cheese)
2 cans of spicy diced tomatoes (I used Hunt's brand that had fiery peppers in them as that's what I had on hand...feel free to use your favorite dicey tomatoes...)
Cayenne pepper (optional...I live with a heat-mouth)

Brown the ground beef in a large skillet (while helping your husband unscoop wet pellets from the hopper of your pellet stove because you were left unsupervised and put in the bag he intended to return to Aubuchon Hardware as the bag had wet pellets in it.  Hmm.) Drain the beef of any fat and add the two cans of tomatoes.  Chunk that big old brick of fine yellow heaven into the pan  and allow to melt, stirring occasionally (while trying to put on makeup, but in the other room, because no one wants to eat Random Beef, Cheese, and Loose Powder Dip.  That would be too random.)  Add cayenne pepper to taste, if desired (do not desire to accidentally shake cayenne pepper into your eye.  It hurts like a mother and one red eye, while Halloween-ish, is just not ok.)  Serve hot with corn chips or tortilla chips. 

You probably could add another pound of ground beef, if you wanted a more even beef-to-cheese ratio.  I was never a math whiz, and I love me some processed cheese.  But, as always, you do what you want.  This will be your recipe after you make it three times.  That's the rule.

Brussel Sprouts That Don't Taste Like A Foot

Andrew and I are back on the WW wagon following the wedding.  I'm pretty sure my shirt just got caught in the wagon wheel and I'm being dragged along.  Anyhow, I'm trying my best to make us healthier options for shared food times.  What he does when I can't see him (read:  hot doughnuts at LaBree's) and what I do when he can't see me (read:  buy enough chocolate at Mardens to have an Intervention staged on my behalf) is up to personal willpower (which they don't sell at Mardens.)
Our punishment for hot doughnuts and Cadbury bars was roasted brussel sprouts.   That's the only way to eat them.  If you are eating them boiled, please, please stop.  I beg you.  That's no way to live.  I also brought one of our favorite grill recipes indoors.  With that, here was tonight's meal:

 

I know, it looks like a bad 70's cookbook picture, but it was delicious!

Steak Tips and Roasted Veggies
1 lb sirloin steak strips
1 pkg McCormick Peppercorn and Garlic marinade
1 onion (for the steak tips)
4 carrots
1 lb brussel sprouts
3 baseball sized potatoes
1 green pepper

Marinate the strips (which I cut into tip-sized bites, but you do how you like) according to package directions.  Mine sat for about 4 hours.
Preheat the oven to 375.  Cut the veggies you choose to use (try brussel sprouts!) down into pieces about the same size.  Put into a single layer on a cookie sheet and drizzle with olive oil.  Add any spices and toss the veggies to coat (I only used salt and pepper because the marinade is so powerful.)  Cook for 40-60 minutes (I went 60.)
When you're ready to cook the tips, get a cast-iron skillet (or another skillet if you don't have a cast-iron) and drizzle with a little olive oil when hot.  Cut the onion into slices, then in half, and start them in the skillet.  Let them go for a few minutes, then add the steak tips.  Cook to your desired doneness (we are medium-well folks here) and serve with the roasted veggies.
Easy meal.  Easy way to eat veggies that normally would never pass my lips.  Zucchini, summer squash, broccoli, cauliflower...roasted veggie possibilities are endless!!

Herb Crosses Over to Pork

I think one of those Brady kids said something about pork chops and applesauce tasting good (and maybe he was even imitating someone?) and I'd have to agree.  I used the same herb rub from Saturday night's chicken supper to make tonight's pork roast (I got a get-out-of-cooking-free pass via an invitation to the in-law's house on Sunday night for chicken chili.)

Cast-Iron Herb Roast Pork
1 pork roast (mine was 1 3/4 pound)
Olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp dried basil, crushed
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground sage
1/2 tsp. dried thyme, crushed
1/4 tsp. black pepper

Preheat your oven to 375.  If you think ahead (as I did not), you could put your cast-iron skillet into the oven to preheat as well.  It didn't make a difference, so feel free to not think ahead as well.
Mix minced garlic and all your spices in a small bowl.  Drizzle olive oil over one side of your pork roast and rub to coat.  Rub half of the garlic-spice mix on that side and flip.  Repeat with other side.
Insert meat thermometer.  Set to desired temperature (I'm not fancy enough to eat my pork medium well.  I like it well done, and that, my friends, is 170 F.) and put meat into cast-iron skillet.  Cook until done, flipping once about halfway through so both sides get brown and delicious.

We ate the leftover garlic mashed potatoes from Saturday supper, carrots (nothing fancy...just from a can...I was looking for easy tonight as Andrew was working a side job and I wanted this meal to come together by the time he was up over the stairs), and hot homemade applesauce.

The herbs were fantastic on the pork.  The applesauce goes without saying.  We have pork leftover, which is good, cause Andrew may be on his own for supper tomorrow.

Garlic-Themed Supper

It just worked out that I went full-blown garlic for Saturday night supper.  My garlic press and I are BFF, so I'm down for using it every time I can remember to buy a head of garlic.

Herb-Roasted Chicken
(BHG (red plaid) cookbook)

3-3 1/2 pound whole broiler-fryer chicken (mine was 4.5 pounds...it didn't seem to bother the recipe that the chicken had a weight problem)
2 Tbsp butter or margarine, melted
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tsp. dried basil, crushed
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground sage
1/2 tsp. dried thyme, crushed
1/4 tsp. lemon-pepper seasoning or black pepper
(Note:  my sage was already ground.  I didn't bother crushing the other spices.  I chose the black pepper for this chicken.)

Take out all the bits inside your chicken that are bagged (or loose, maybe, if you buy those free-range style chickens) and wash and pat dry your future supper.  BHG recommended tying the legs to the tail and skewering the neck skin of the chicken to the back.  No thanks.  I did twist the wing tips under the back (I think...I was channeling Rotisserie Chicken, so I just made it look like it does when I buy them at Hannaford), but I knew my dinner wasn't going anywhere.  Place the chicken, breast side up, on a rack in a shallow roasting pan.  (I have my dad's chicken rack.  I don't know if he knows.  I'm sure he thinks someone stole it.)  I also chose to line my cookie sheet with foil to try to help with clean up.  Brush the chicken with the melted butter and rub the garlic over the chicken.
In a small bowl, stir together all the spices and rub onto chicken.  BHG says, if desired, insert a meat thermometer (WEDDING PRESENT) into center of an inside thigh muscle.  Desire it.  Desire it so much.
Roast, uncovered, in a 375 oven for 1 1/4-1 1/2 hours or until the drumsticks move easily in their sockets and chicken is no longer pink (180 F).  Let the chicken stand 10 minutes before carving.

We had garlic smashed potatoes (2 whole cloves of garlic go into your unpeeled red potatoes while they're cooking.  They'll mash away, mash away, mash away all!)  And I've forgone the way of mashing anyhow, thanks to my Miss Amber, and use my hand mixer to get my potatoes all delicious.

We also had garlic and lemon sauteed green beans.  I trimmed a pound of fresh green beans and added them to a non-stick skillet that had a drizzle of olive oil and minced garlic (I had let the garlic cook for a few minutes before I tossed them in) and cooked 10-15 minutes till they were just right for us.  I drizzled lemon juice in after I took them off the stove.

Easy and tasty meal, especially given the junky weather Saturday evening.  Andrew said he could smell the chicken from the garage, and he was on the lookout for neighbors who might be headed to our house to eat.

Canned Happiness

Andrew and I had a great time on our honeymoon.  I don't know about him (and he don't know about me), but I was ready to get back into the swing of normalcy.  For me, it means cooking.  For Andrew, it means trapping mice in the garage and other manly things I'm glad I don't have to be a part of ("Hon, I saw a spider even I didn't like the looks of.  It was green and with legs and body was THIS BIG A-ROUND.")
Dead spiders aside, I had a peck of Cortland apples that my mother-in-law had given me before the wedding that still hadn't been touched.  She also gave me a buttercup squash.  I'm still working on how to handle that, but I made applesauce with the peck.  Here's the recipe I used:

Homemade Applesauce 
(as printed and tweaked by the 12th Edition of BHG Cookbook (the red plaid) and myself)

Almost one peck of Cortland apples, cored and quartered (their recipe calls for 8 pounds/24 cups)
2 cups water
10 inches stick cinnamon (optional.  I used 4 sticks of cinnamon.  I don't know how many inches long they were.  I do not have that kind of time for measuring.)
3/4 to 1 1/4 cups sugar (I did 1 1/4 cup, but it's all to taste.)

I used my apple wedger to get rid of the core, and put all the apple slices (skin and all) into my large stockpot (8-10 quart).  Add the water and the cinnamon sticks.  Bring to a boiling (it's hard to see the water because there are so many apple slices.  I stirred it up occasionally and mashed down the apples.  They'll get there.)  Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 25-35 minutes, until very tender.  Stir often.
Take the cinnamon sticks out of the apple mush (and maybe remember how many sticks you put in...I started blending with one still in there...) and press through a food mill or sieve.  I used my immersion blender (WEDDING PRESENT) and it worked great.  Bonus:  you don't have to take the apples out of the pot.
Once your mush looks like applesauce (or leave it a little chunky if you want), add your desired amount of sugar.  At this point, I also added cinnamon and nutmeg.  No measured amount.  Use your eyeballs and your taste preference.  BHG also says you can add 1/2 to 1 cup of water for desired consistency.  I like my applesauce thick and I cannot lie.
Bring the applesauce back to boiling.

This recipe cans 6 pints of applesauce.  I had just a smidge leftover (maybe 1/2 cup??) after I canned it.