If You're Happy and You Know It, Eat Some Carbs

Summer suppers at our house are usually some sort of grilled protein and a salad.  It's too hot to consider much else (and cooking roles reverse, with Andrew on the grill and me on chop chop duty.) 

But yesterday was all rainy and junky, so chili and biscuits were on order.  My great uncle Jon's chili recipe nearly serves all of Clifton...I improvised it down to half that and still had a large dutch oven full.

Because the biscuits were a spur of the moment idea, I needed to find a non-buttermilk recipe.  If you don't have buttermilk, you can add 1 tablespoon of vinegar to 1 c of milk, but the recipe I found needed 1 1/4 c buttermilk (and my brain doesn't work well with maths.) 

Thank goodness for the bridal edition of the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.  They have a non-buttermilk recipe (plus a drop biscuit and buttermilk biscuit variety).  All ingredients were on hand, so it was on!

Biscuits:

3 c. flour
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. cream of tartar
1 stick butter, cold, cut into pieces
1/4 c. shortening
1 c. milk

Preheat oven to 450.  Mix the dry ingredients together.  Cut in the butter and shortening until it resembles coarse crumbs.  Form a well in center of mix and pour in milk.  Stir with a fork until just combined.  Turn out dough onto lightly floured surface and knead dough by folding and gently pressing until dough holds together.  Pat or roll out to 3/4 inch thickness.  Cut dough with biscuit cutter and re-roll and cut scraps.  Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet 10-14 minutes or until golden. 

Golden.  And delicious.  I'm surprised we have any left!

Serve warm.  Like I needed to tell you that.  Make these.  Put Pillsbury out of business.  They were foolishly easy.  I'm pretty sure Shakespeare said "a warm biscuit doth a happy husband make."

Freddy Kruger Russian Roulette Sugar Free Blueberry Pie

Sure, it's a long-ass name for a pie.  But.  Worth it.
I mean, probably.
Technically, we are not feasting on this pie.  If we were, I would so go at it The Walking Dead style, but I've committed to two pies for the Comins Hall supper that's happening tomorrow, and doubly committed to two sugar-free pies.  My thoughts on sugar-free items are these:  if you have THE BEDES (lovingly referred to as such in my family, where one out of every one person has it), maybe pie just shouldn't be in the cards for you.  But, hey, I have food issues meself, so I know how hard it can be to JUST SAY NO (there is no DARE program for carbs.  I asked my old DARE officer.)
My hope is that these pies turn out tasty, and no one gets diarrhea (always a spell-checked word for me) because it's not made with real sugar.  This recipe was my inspiration.  I hope it looks just like that when they cut into it (hence the Russian Roulette) and my un-festive steam cuts into the top of the pie garnered the teen-killer moniker.  Here we go:

For the filling:

3 cups blueberries (I used frozen)
1/2 cup sugar-free maple syrup
4 cups blueberries (frozen again)
1/2 cup sugar-free maple syrup
4 Tbsp quick cooking tapioca (have fun finding a use for the rest of the box you have to buy to get your measly 1/4 c....)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt

1 recipe double crust pie dough (I use this recipe)

Simmer the 3 cups of blueberries and 1/2 cup syrup until it reduces by half (about 20 minutes.)  Add this, along with the 4 cups of blueberries and the rest of the ingredients to a large bowl and combine.  Allow to cool completely.

Make the dough.  Or use store bought.  Or take some dough that you made last time from the freezer and allow it to thaw.  Dough up your pie plate and add your filling.  Top it off and put it in the fridge for 30 minutes.  Meanwhile, pre-heat your oven to 450 and put a foil-lined cookie sheet on the bottom rack of the oven.  Now, the actual recipe dictates that after the 30 minutes of fridge chill, turn your oven to 400 and bake for 30 minutes, then brush with cream and sprinkle with sugar and allow to cook for another 30 minutes.  Here's how my recipe goes:  Preheat your oven to 450.  After 20 minutes, remember that you have to put the cookie sheet in the oven, too.  Open the oven, keep it open too long adjusting the racks for the cookie sheet, then set off the smoke detector, which probably won't wake up the husband who just came home from night shift at all.  Throw the smoke detector onto the back porch, then gingerly set the pie into the oven.  Forget to turn the oven down to 400 degrees until it's been cooking for 20 minutes.  Then, turn the oven down, and don't bother with the sprinkling of sugar or brushing of cream.  Finish reading Jen Lancster's new book while your blueberry pie browns nakedly in the oven.  With 20 minutes left, take pity on the pie and throw a double thickness of foil lazily over the top to prevent more browning.  Take out and cool completely before serving.

Good thing is, you can still take pictures of it while it's warm.

The only nightmare on Elm St. would be if you ate two pieces of this, you may get the runs...

If you don't have to go sugar-free because of THE BEDES, you can use regular maple syrup.  Shoot up with your favorite flavor of insulin and dig in!